out of my comfort zone, and decidedly uncomfortable

i like to think i am open to new experiences…well experiences in my realm. there are things i know i would not do today–bungee jumping, skydiving and yes, swimming with the sharks. i have adventures but they are not the extremes, and sometimes they don’t have to be.

stepping out of my comfort zone is a bit more everyday, a bit pedestrian but still a step out there. this month i am embarking on a 30 day yoga challenge. i will have to be creative to get yoga in every day and will have to try new classes. challenge on!

up until last night, i felt i had evolved my yoga practice and become somewhat enlightened. but it is apparent i have a ways to go. well miles to go to be exact…..miles and miles.

friday night i ventured into a dark candle lit room, quiet and still and very, very full. i sat and let go. or at least i valiantly tried. the class started, and it was 5 mins of expectation and 70 minutes of….well….well it was a lot.

we kicked our feet like 2 year olds, flapped our arms like birds, and staggered left and right somewhere between an 80’s aerobic class and a very bad chorus line. seated we pushed ourselves off of our bums with our fists and laughed–we sounded like a pack of hyenas. we danced and chanted with partners back to back, sweaty and sticky and sang ‘i am beautiful, i am bountiful, i am bliss.’ we proclaimed affirmations – joy, self-love, inner peace, humility, kindness, friendship and more. try as i might, i struggled to find comfort and confidence in this practice. i tried to judge less and let go but still i held back. mercifully after 70 minutes we came to shavasana. i lay down and finally found peace with my mat. it was somewhere i knew.

my inner giggles subsided and agitation screamed silently out loud.  i recognized i was out of my comfort zone, and was decidedly uncomfortable. clearly i’ve got some stretching to do.

will i venture into the class again? maybe, maybe not. there was something about being uncomfortable. it was fresh, it was mindful and it was prickly.  it struck something in the back of my consciousness. it brought about a realization that i am not as free or open as i thought.

i’m probably not ready to get my kicking and chanting back on, but i had an experience with being someplace i am not used to being, AND that awareness was pretty cool.

so tell me, have you stepped outside of your comfort zone lately?